This month has been odd but then I again I think the month has probably been normal but I have been odd - as Robert pointed out yesterday, if anyone who didn't know me saw me they would think I was perfectly normal (his words) - he however does know me and says my axis is off - not that I am wonky or crooked or anything but that my whole axis has shifted - and he is waiting for it to shift back again (and I so hate to say that he is right - but he is, I am wonky, completely, in a bad place and just waiting to get back into my good place)
Our lovely Mr. Bonkers died this month - it is still really upsetting and only those who have had and loved animals will understand why - it all happened very quickly and left us all feeling shocked - and he was only 5, he lived in an appartment so no risk of being run over etc etc so he should have lived for years and years - but he didn't and we miss him.Finally I was able to go away with Robert a few times when he had to travel for work - a day in Venice, an overnight in Macerata and the Marche - so beautiful ..........
and another overnight up in Udine - even more beautiful and so many lovely cafes
............ only trouble is now I don't want to go on holiday in August - we are going up to Slovenia and Trieste and right now I want to stay at home - but how do I tell Robert - I needed a holiday, I really did but life/work has slowed down a bit and I have rested - but my axis is off so maybe not wanting to go on holiday is all about me being weird right now.I haven't been posting but everyday I still do my blogging rounds - all the old faithfuls (look right) and also the new one - ninemorninglines.
What happened to him? 5 is so very young. The house never feels quite right without a cat at home. I have lost cats and I still miss each of them in different ways. The morning cuddle, the sit on your feet, the home from work greeting, the feed me now meow. Yes very sad. Special kitty prayers.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the 'I don't want to go on holiday' thing and the wrong axis thing. I sometimes find myself there.
I would love to be able to travel with my hubby sometimes. He was in Florence recently (with work). I would have loved to have gone with him and pottered the streets whilst he worked :)
Enjoy what's left of the holidays even though it's only 9 weeks lol.
Thank you for your kind words - Mr. Bonkers stopped eating on a Wednesday, it was very hot so we put it down to that, by Sunday we decided he needed to see the vet so arranged an appointment for the next day. On Monday she saw him and said to take him back the next day for a scan and blood tests, I took him back on Tuesday to be told the walls of his intestines (in one place) had swollen to five times their normal size which was pushing on a tumour in his stomach, he had leukemia and liquid on his lungs - she could have given him cortisone to keep him going 'for a bit' - 'how long is a bit? I asked - less than a week - by which time the liquid on his lungs would have stopped him from breathing - so we decided to have him put down - I asked if we could have done something if we had known sooner but she said we would only have cried sooner and for longer - she said we could never have done anything to chnage the way things went - we couldn't believ it - he had seemed asbsolutley fine and if he hadn't have stopped eating we would never have known - so sad, poor Bonkers - the perfect cat in every sense.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear of your loss. He was beautiful. Pets become so much a part of us and it's so very hard to say goodbye. I know exactly how you feel because over the years,I've had to put down 2 dogs and a very sick kitten. It's never easy and the tears are already welling up in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteWonkiness must be contagious because I've been "unsettled" for a while too. Behind on my favorite blog reading/commenting and tired of working. The heat is oppressive and I miss my grandgirl. Yes, wonky axis describes it perfectly. Hang in there my friend. Holiday may be just what you need to right that axis. xoxo