Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Blind Panic - for The Gallery

As anyone who reads this blog knows, the two Italian children in the header are mine (from my marriage to their dad, an Italian) while the Canadian in the header is my Canadian husband who has no children - and last night when Leo, my youngest, came home from rugby looking like this it was so clear who the parent was - Robert, cool as a cucmber (he is anyway) and me , well, not. Once Leo was cleaned up (when Robert had first picked him up he looked even worse - like this but caked in mud too), we had eaten, had the glass of wine and generally got back to normal I felt sick - I had done the 'ok let's sort this out' bit' and I knew he was ok (it really is just aesthetic) - but for the first time in 10 years I heard myself say to Robert 'you haven't got children so you can't understand what it's like' - was that a wrong thing to say? I don't know - but I know that the moment of blind panic I had when I first saw Leo like this and while I was cleaning him up was something a parent knows - I am amazingly lucky, I have only had that blind panic a couple of times (once when Thomas cracked his head open aged 2 and the again when Thomas was 6 and got lost on a crowded beach) - having kids is great - but boy do I hate that blind panic moment when you think they are in danger - it is a feeling I have only had where my children are involved - so was I wrong to say that to Robert?


  1. Oh, what a scary moment for you. I sure know those Blind Panic moments! We had a scary school incident a while back and my guy's face looked terrible...thought his nose was broken! Thankfully it wasn't!

    xx Jazzy

  2. Had a couple of blind panic moments with my teen when he was younger - when I recall them my stomach still churns.
    Hope his handsome face recovers soon.

  3. Oh yes can fully comprehend that panic. Not sure if it was a good thing to say that to your hubbie though....ouch. Put it down to panic xx

  4. Chalk it up to a moment of intense emotion. I believe men react much differently to these things than women...especially the ones who birthed the child that is hurt! I'm sure Robert checked him out when he picked him up and assessed that he was okay for the most part. In his mind, that was it. Over. Done. We mothers think about all the "what if" that go along with every scrape.

    I once "lost" my youngest in a clothing store when she was 3 years old. Blind panic set in when we were going on 15 minutes without finding her. She was hiding under a rack of clothes. Blind panic set in when I saw my oldest airborne for the first time as a 7-year-old gymnast. Never quite got over that one.

    I'm sure Robert will accept your apology and forgive.

  5. Once saw my husband ( daughters step father) go into blind panic when daughter went missing in a shop. Never seen him do it before or since. It made me wonder at the time if a step parent may actually feel as much as a natural parent and actually different people react different to stress or show love differently so how could you ever really know if they felt 'it' in the same way. I think I understand where your words came from but not sure saying them outloud was quite right. Luckily Men don't seem to hang onto things the way women do. It will blow over :0)

  6. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-12335547 this was in our news today and it made me think of this post straight away. Poor, poor parents.